My relationship role model is the worst listener I’ve ever known.
He fails the people he loves in ways he can’t possibly comprehend. If he knew better, he’d do better.
But one of us saying so, out loud, wouldn’t change a thing. When you don’t listen, you can’t be reached, and you miss opportunities. How sad.
My fatherhood role model is the most selfish man I’ve ever been around. Never is his interest in the growth of the child. Never has he presented an example worthy of following.
He’s one of many parents to try and fail at “do as I say, not as I do.”
When I come across failure, I make a study of it. These people have excelled at what doesn’t work. If I can learn their lessons, and listen to the feedback they ignore, I’m well on my way to a better place.
A bad listener taught me the importance of listening. A man who failed to lead or nurture taught me the importance of both.
The how, I still had to figure out myself. But I knew what I needed to know. Because two imperfect men showed me.
Everybody says they study success, but then they put the book down, or complete the Masterclass, and fall back into familiar routines.
Knowing what doesn’t work takes those behaviors off the table. Forever.
Study failure. It’ll shorten your learning curve.
My new morning routine: eat a few fried eggs between morning gym and the start of work.
It’s a nice little shot of protein to start a long and challenging day. It tides me over. I won’t think about food again until supper.
When I started out, I did horrible. I’d go 0-for-5 with egg yolks left intact. I’d try another one, just to get one small win, and went 0-for-6.
The more eggs I cracked, I realized there’s two places where a yolk gets broken. At the crack, which was most of my problem. But also at the drop, onto the pan. Sometimes I’d be so happy the crack was clean that I’d drop its contents carelessly, from too high a distance, and it would go splat.
My new mission: go 0-for-2 on the things that break yolks. Concentrate on a clean crack, and then concentrate on a smooth drop. Today I went 4-for-5 with intact yolk.
It’s not perfect yet. But it’s getting there.
My father walked out on our mother when I was 4 (three other siblings). A welfare family and a bit of a rough go growing up. Nevertheless, I have been married for 26 years and still going strong, three successful grown children that remain very close. The failure of my father has been a quiet motivation throughout my life. Exactly as you wrote, to know failure most certainly doesn’t condemn you to it.
Serious examination of the things we are doing wrong; our failures, if you will needs to happen often in order for us to grow as people. One of my music teachers always shared the phrase, "Practice makes ... permanent! Only, perfect practice will make perfect."