There is no such thing as a routine traffic stop, but there could be
Arguments with cops at traffic stops are only lost, never won
There is no such thing as a routine traffic stop. But there could be.
The Law pulls up behind you, lights on. You pull to the side, hoping he’s off after The Real Criminals. No such luck. John Law has made a special trip for little-old-you.
I’ve been there plenty of times. It’s tense. But it doesn’t have to be. Two seconds of Googling yields recent examples of traffic stops terribly gone wrong for cops and for motorists. Anyone trying to pick sides between the two is foolish. These are human tragedies.
My interest today is, how can we, the motorist, stay safe?
First, understand that safety is the default. According to U.S. Department of Justice statistics, there were nearly 19 million traffic stops in 2018. To say that a vast majority of those ended without violence actually understates how safe traffic stops are, on the whole.
The media has every interest to inspire fear of what might happen the next time you’re pulled over, because scared people click.
The problem is, scared people also act nervous when they’re pulled over, and scared people often shoot when they feel fear.
It’s really this simple. You have two goals during a traffic stop:
Get it over with ASAP. But never appear to hurry.
And as cheap as possible. Preferably free. A warning, not a ticket.
Arguing with the officer isn’t on the list.
Let’s think this through: Officer Barney Fife has pulled you over for doing 55 in a 54.
As he approaches, you say to yourself “what kind of person would do this?” but then you see the buzzcut and you don’t wonder anymore. He’s One of Those Guys. A flag-salutin’ motherfucker, as Paulie Walnuts once said it.
Whatever fine points of law the officer missed in government class at Ridgemont High or police academy are better argued by your lawyer. It will be made in a courtroom, in front of a judge who knows the law and the rules of evidence, who has the experience to weigh such things. Rather than by you, yourself, going back-and-forth with the same guy who pulled you over.
The longer a traffic stop takes, the more it’s likely to cost you. If the entire suburb shows up at your traffic stop, you might not be going home that night. A quick and easy transaction benefits all parties. Do your part to facilitate one.
But what if he’s not Barney Fife, what if he’s Bad Lieutenant?
Well then you definitely don’t want to be arguing that guy. You want to remain alive to collect the damages that may ensue.
Isn’t this blaming the victim? No, actually. It’s victim prevention.
Where the woke see “victims,” and embolden people to have unnecessary confrontation with the cops, I see boys and girls who look like me. Or maybe they’re immature and drive angry like I used to.
Where I sit, there’s nothing theoretical about this. Anyone who wants to stand on a table to debate “victim-blaming” can join me, because I’m already there. Your “victims” are my people. So we can have that conversation anytime.
I want things to go well for these kids. For that to happen, we need to get this goddam traffic stop over with, fast, and get back to life.